Sports
MLB Security Unable To Tackle Virtual Streaker

SAN DIEGO, CA—Major League Baseball security guards were unable to tackle and apprehend a virtual streaker at a game between the Arizona Diamondbacks and the San Diego Padres this weekend.

The streaking incident highlighted one of the faults with the new "virtual crowd" system employed by Fox Sports. While normally, security guards can simply tackle a crazy naked guy who runs across the field, now, they're much harder to bring to the ground.

"Can't catch me, fatty!" cackled the streaker as he bobbed and weaved around the outfield.

"I kept trying to tackle him but he was like a ghost," said out-of-breath Head Security Guard Matthew Lindsay. "It was impossible!"

After nearly an hour chasing the streaker around the field, security settled for just censoring him out as the game resumed. The streaker continued running around in the outfield throughout the rest of the game, distracting players and fans alike.

According to Fox Sports, even the people in the stands are a problem, as many of them aren't wearing pants.

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