HOLLYWOOD, CA — James Cameron, acclaimed director of Avatar, a 2009 movie about estrogen-infused Smurfs, is releasing the much-anticipated sequel in theaters worldwide. The genius director decided moviegoers would flock to see a 190-minute movie about water with no bathroom breaks.
44 oz Cokes are expected to be among the concessions purchased by the dumbest viewers in attendance.
"My flick has so dang many waterfalls," said Mr. Cameron during a screening of the movie to attendees excited enough to submit to testing the bursting point of their own bladders. "Water gushing everywhere, streaming down the giant screen in rivulets and torrents."
"I've been waiting half of my life for this sequel!" screamed 26-year old fanatical Avatar fan, Hersch Boogdweller, while sporting a blue-painted face and the blissful ignorance of the fact that he will miss three crucial minutes of his favorite movie at the two-hour mark due to his body's inability to hold liquid waste for such a long period.
At publishing time, Mr. Cameron had announced pre-production was already underway for the third movie in the effeminate Ferngully series, to be released in December 2098.
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