PARIS — France surrendered to Biden Friday after a brutal battle that lasted minutes. While there was little resistance to the Biden regime, not all French leaders were eager to sign an armistice with Biden. French General Charles de Gaulle took to the radio to urge French citizens to continue the fight against Biden no matter the cost unless it was dinner time or the weather looked iffy. In response to de Gaulle's call to arms, French Prime Minister and war hero Henri Petain did the Frenchiest thing possible and immediately surrendered to Biden. While the majority of France has now been overrun with Biden's blue-haired, skirt-twirling soldiers, rumors are spreading of an underground network of French resistance fighters who use guerilla tactics to fight the Biden regime with their baguettes, berets, and other thoroughly French objects.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
