TEMPE, AZ — Local father Stephen Taylor has become concerned that going to church could really intrude on his eleven-year-old's travel baseball schedule.
"With practice seven nights a week and 43 tournaments this summer, church just feels like a lot," said Mr. Taylor. "If we only make 37 tournaments because of church - I mean, that could really hamper Sammy's development."
The Taylor family had attended church faithfully for the past decade, up until six months ago when their son Sammy received the groundbreaking invite to play catcher for a second-tier, twelve-year-old and under club baseball team. "It's such a huge deal - we couldn't say no," said Mrs. Taylor. "Sammy has progressed so well, the coach said by next year he could be a backup catcher in a first-tier twelve-year-old league! So massive! I know he loved going to church with his friends, but we can't let anything stand in the way of that!"
With the high cost of club baseball, the Taylor family has also reportedly taken out a reverse mortgage on their home to pay for travel. "It's a risky move, but totally worth it," said Mr. Taylor. "We've had to give up several friendships since we're never available to hang out, but it will all pay off when next year when Sammy is sitting in the dugout, wearing that top-flight Jimmy John's-sponsored jersey."
At publishing time, the Taylor family had decided to pull Sammy out of school to better focus on baseball.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
