WASHINGTON, D.C. — Joe Biden was recently awarded an honorary doctorate degree from Howard University, a rare honor bestowed upon him just three years after he became Honorary President.

Howard University, named after intellectual and philosopher Howard The Duck, granted the Honorary President the prestigious Honorary Doctorate because of his "unity-based unification" and "popularity among oligarchs and oil tycoons."

Honorary President Biden was then asked to say a few words whenever he was finished eating his new diploma.

"I'll tell you what Stanley, it's an honor to be honored for all those birds flying in my attic," said Biden to the university's class of 2023, "If you've never seen a doctor poop his pants before...well now you have."

Honorary President Biden received congratulations and well wishes for his honorary doctorate from various world leaders, including Real President Donald Trump.

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