OMAHA, NE — The Swanson family spent an enjoyable Sunday afternoon gathered around their iPad on a long video call with Grandma and Grandpa's ceiling.
The first 15 minutes of the call consisted of the family attempting to instruct their grandparents' ceiling on how to adjust the camera angle, but after a few awkward shots of a blouse, then nostrils, the family decided talking to the ceiling was just fine.
"How was the first week of school?" asked the ceiling, followed by a comment about indigestion that the ceiling assumed the family could not hear. Then the ceiling joked about how back in its day he had to walk to school uphill both ways in two feet of snow.
The ceiling talked about the latest doily it had crocheted, pointing out the complex edge pattern, which was a real doozy to get right. The family never saw the doily.
The ceiling ended the call by inviting the family to come visit in person sometime because the computer was not working again.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
