U.S. — After reports surfaced that employees at The Tonight Show were occasionally criticized by boss Jimmy Fallon, millions of Americans have come forward saying that they too have experienced a boss being occasionally unhappy.
Incredibly, every single person who has ever had a boss reported that their boss also criticized poor work and intermittently was in a bad mood. The only Americans who did not come forward claiming to have worked in a similarly toxic environment were those who had never held an actual job.
"It appears that one hundred percent of people who have worked anywhere have experienced the horrors faced by employees at The Tonight Show," said sociologist Leonard Minks. "Every single person has reported the frightening reality of their boss sometimes being happy, and sometimes not being happy. Additionally, every employee in all of history has also felt the terror and humiliation of being told by their boss that their work wasn't good enough. It's beyond shocking."
In another remarkable sign of all workplaces being toxic, every person who ever worked anywhere also reported that they sometimes were not happy at their jobs.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
