NEW YORK, NY — As New York City continues to face a growing crisis due to ongoing waves of illegal migrants flooding into the city, Mayor Eric Adams reached out to the state of Texas to ask if they still had any of those cowboys with the whips.
"Hello, Texas? You remember those guys riding horses trying to whip folks crossing the border?" Adams reportedly asked Texas Governor Greg Abbot's office over the phone. "I know we gave you all a pretty hard time over that, but, um…here's the thing…we're in a really tough spot here in NYC now, and, uh…do you still have any of them cowboys? With the whips? I'd appreciate it if I could borrow some of them for a while. Like, for a few weeks or a year or so."
New York City has quickly descended into a state of emergency after failing to adequately meet the needs of thousands of migrants entering the city. "We can't give help to all these people," said New York Police Commissioner Edward Caban. "I don't know where anyone got the idea that New York, a sanctuary city, would be a city where this many people could find sanctuary."
Sources within the Texas Governor's office disclosed Mayor Adam's' request was turned down. "He seemed pretty disappointed when he found out we don't actually have cowboys riding around whipping people crossing the border," said the source who asked to remain anonymous. "He was really hoping the fake media uproar last year was a real thing. It's sad."
At publishing time, Mayor Adams had turned his attention to vowing to build a wall around NYC and forcing New Jersey to pay for it.
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