New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani's viral bench press exhibition has gotten everyone talking about the importance of fitness — no matter what your political affiliation may be. But are there exercises even liberals can do?
The Babylon Bee has put together the following helpful list of exercises that are so easy even liberals can do them:
Gentle downhill stroll: Don't exert yourself too much. Being in good shape is a Nazi dog whistle.
Bench-press 10 lbs.: Do not attempt 135 lbs. REPEAT: Do NOT attempt 135 lbs.
Plank in the middle of the road to block traffic to raise awareness for Palestine: Two birds with one stone.
Mental gymnastics: An intense brain exercise that requires tremendous willpower to disregard all facts and logic.
Screaming alone in your car while filming it for TikTok: Strengthen your lungs while defeating fascism.
Sprinting from ICE agents: You don't have to be faster than the ICE agents; you just have to be faster than the doughy, blue-haired Ivy League grad student next to you.
The Kaepernick kneeling lunge: Every time the Star Spangled Banner is played is a reminder to never skip leg day.
Walk a mile while carrying the tremendous weight of white guilt on your shoulders: The heaviest weight there is.
Flag waving: Great for the arms. Just make sure it's not an American flag.
Hike to Canada: A challenging trek to live in a socialist paradise.
Follow the list above to stay as strong as Stalin himself. What other exercises are easy enough for liberals? Post your suggestions in the comments.
Woke Jesus is back with a new collection of socialist teachings for your edification.
