WASHINGTON, D.C. — One of the mainstays of America's legislative branch was once again seen roaming the corridors of the U.S. Capitol building, as Mitch McConnell returned to the Senate as a Force ghost.
The Kentucky senator had been out of the public eye for several months but made his long-awaited return to work this week, as his ethereal Force presence appeared on the Senate floor to give an inspirational speech to his colleagues ahead of the November midterm elections.
"Hello there," McConnell's spectral form said as it materialized in front of the podium. "I have returned to you for this important time. We have a lot of work ahead of us, and I'm proud to be back where I belong. Though I have become one with the Force, that won't stop me from fulfilling my duties and my responsibility to represent the hardworking people of Kentucky. Mitch McConnell will be with you… always."
McConnell's colleagues said it was a relief to see his Force ghost appear to them to guide them during this dark time. "He has come to us when we needed him the most," said Senator Rand Paul. "We feared he was lost to us forever. We had heard rumors that he was more machine now than man, twisted and evil. But now that his spirit is here to advise us, we're back on the right track. Or the track to completely blowing the midterms. One of the two. You never know with us."
At publishing time, McConnell's Force ghost was overheard telling Senate Majority Leader John Thune that he could not escape his destiny and would have to face President Donald Trump again.
The Babylon Bee finally exposes everything about the Jews in this documentary of hard-hitting investigative journalism.
