SAVANNAH, GA — Fans at Sunday's Savannah Bananas game at historic Grayson Stadium were shocked to see an element of seriousness infiltrate their beloved sport, as Manager Tyler Gilum publicly chewed out one of his players for not goofing around.
When infielder Ryan Cox took the field in the seventh inning, he reportedly walked there instead of performing flips or somersaults on the way, astonishing fans with his serious demeanor. He then proceeded to make an outstanding diving stop, followed by an accurate throw to first without batting an eye, bringing down the wrath of the coaching staff.
Gilum glared at Drury until he returned to the dugout, at which point he let him have it. "What do you think this is, Ryan? You think this is baseball? THIS ISN'T BASEBALL!" Gilum reportedly shouted. "WE ARE BANANAS! SAY IT! SAY WE ARE BANANAS!"
Gilum promised to bench him for the rest of the season if he didn't start goofing around.
At a post-game press conference, Cox brushed off the incident. "Tensions run high when the Savannah Bananas play, but it's my job to bring my best, and sometimes doing a few more flips makes me a better player. Or entertainer. Or something."
Following the interview, co-owner Emily Cole announced she had suspended Cox for the three games until he can stop getting his act together. "It's an absolute embarrassment to have a player who cares about his performance. What a disgrace," she said.
At publishing time, Ryan Cox had been traded to the division rival Pascagoula Party Animals.
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