VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has been criticized for getting his Catholic theology exactly backward on numerous social issues. But one cardinal noticed that during the Pope's morning devotionals, he was holding his Bible entirely upside down.
Now, commentators believe this is why the Pope said same-sex couples should be able to have civil unions earlier this week. It all makes sense, they say.
"Oh, man! No wonder I've been getting it wrong all these years!" said an embarrassed Pope Francis, head in his hands. "I was wondering why my theology was always diametrically opposed to historic Christian teaching."
"Boy, is my face red!"
After getting his Bible turned the right way, the Pope immediately condemned same-sex relations, environmental extremism, Joe Biden, and critical race theory. He also converted to Protestantism and endorsed Donald Trump for president.