Doctor Who Spent Decades In School Still Too Dumb To Realize That He Doesn't Know Everything
Health · Nov 24, 2021 ·

CLEVELAND, OH - After spending years in school and hundreds of thousands of dollars on a world-class degree in medicine, local doctor James Grawdock is still too dumb to realize how very little he actually knows, sources say. 

"I have studied many medical texts and completed my residency, so I really know what I'm talking about," said the young man who has memorized thousands of Pfizer-approved treatments for various ailments and can regurgitate memorized medical knowledge on demand. "I have learned all there is to know in my field and everyone should listen to me."

Sources say he has taken on a lot of student debt to become a walking WebMD database that can recite the proper pills to give for every ailment. The young doctor knows very little about nutrition, exercise, or human nature, and has no foundational worldview that provides a basis for him to think of human life as valuable. Still, he is convinced that his word should be the final word on all health-related issues. 

"This piece of paper on my wall says that I'm really smart," said the young man who could easily be replaced by a kiosk that dispenses drugs. "And if you don't listen to me, you're anti-science."

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.