MENLO PARK, CA - With all his employees out of town to enjoy Thanksgiving with friends and loved ones, Mark Zuckerberg is taking the time to sit down with his virtual metaverse family and eat some virtual turkey.
"Our Metaverse technology has completely revolutionized the way we celebrate Thanksgiving," said Zuckerberg. "Instead of sitting down with real people, who are gross and smelly and unvaccinated and conservatives, we can simulate thanksgiving with a virtual family!" Zuckerberg then simulated passing the gravy to an NPC resembling his grandmother.
"Mmmmm! This turkey looks hot and delicious! Now, I simply press the button on my right controller to simulate eating it. Wow - now that's what I call a meaningful Thanksgiving experience!"
Zuckerberg's virtual Thanksgiving was cut short, however, when Russian trolls entered the virtual dining room and began virtually debating politics.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
