VENTURA, CA - Local physician Dr. Greg E. Meade was arrested and charged with endangering the public health after he prescribed a patient fresh air and sunshine.

"You know what the best thing for you to do right now is to go outside, get some fresh air, and enjoy the sunshine," the dangerous madman told a patient. "Walk around, breathe in deep, take in the sun. It'll do you some good."

As soon as he said this, authorities busted into his office and tackled him to the ground. "We're puttin' you away for good, you anti-science maniac!" an officer shouted as he cuffed the doctor and walked him out to his patrol car. "Now society is finally safe from bigoted, backward, unscientific ideas like that going outside is good for you."