TALLAHASSEE, FL — Just days after the galling political stunt in which 50 illegal immigrants were human trafficked to the loving, caring, nurturing, sanctuary city of Martha's Vineyard, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis was caught human trafficking again after dropping his kids off at soccer practice.
"I'll pick you up in an hour, champ. Practice hard and be a good sport!" said brutal Dictator DeSantis after dropping his kid off at soccer practice, indicative of his inhumane, authoritarian policies used to rule Florida with an iron fist. "Hey, don't forget your water bottle!"
Governor DeSantis' previous human trafficking venture laid waste to the residents of Martha's Vineyard after they had fallen into his trap by displaying yard signs reading "We Stand With Immigrants" and "All Are Welcome Here."
"This brutal use of vulnerable populations as political pawns must end," said Vice President Kamala Harris while keeping a straight face. "Human trafficking of any sort is evil and wrong when Republicans do it."
At publishing time, President Joe Biden was caught human trafficking his son Hunter to rehab.
Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.