WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the anniversary of the January 6, 2021, incident at the U.S. Capitol, Democrat lawmakers gathered together once again to solemnly remember the only riot they didn't like.
At a somber ceremony of remembrance, congressional Democrats met to observe the fifth anniversary of the only violent protest in history that they weren't happy about and refused to celebrate.
"We're normally all about violent riots, but not this one," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "This one was bad. But only this one. All the other times large mobs of people flooded the streets to loudly protest, damage property, and inflict physical injuries were beautiful displays of dissent, which is a right guaranteed under our great Constitution. Five years ago today, however, people calmly strolling through this building to defend the Constitution was the darkest day in the history of our nation. Let us never forget the one riot that was bad."
Democrats were quick to point out that, while what happened at the Capitol on January 6, 2021, was an unacceptable act of lawlessness, all other destructive riots were not only welcome but worthy of commendation. "It's sad that we come here every year on this day to remember how horrible it was," said Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. "What we should be doing today is honoring George Floyd and all the violent criminals who staged horrific riots in major cities across the country. Those riots were good. The one here on January 6? Bad."
At publishing time, Democrats confirmed that Donald Trump and the January 6 protesters were the only people in America who should be in prison.
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