CINCINNATI, OH—According to sources, local dad Steve Brown has almost reached his breaking point as he attempts to hang a bunch of stupid Christmas lights up so his family will stop bugging him about it. Sources say he is 12 hours in and has only managed to untangle 3 feet of lights.
"These were completely untangled when I put them away last year," he said, "but the minute I picked them up, they somehow managed to twist themselves into impossible knots. I can't see straight. I'm slowly losing my sanity."
Witnesses reported hearing Mr. Brown mutter hundreds of unspeakable curses under his breath as he focused all his pent-up anger and frustration from the entire year on the tangled mess in front of him. Still, the hopeful looks on the faces of his kids kept him going.
After 12 hours of unspeakable suffering and blinding anger, Mr. Brown finally managed to untangle the first strand of Christmas lights, only to discover they didn't work when he plugged them in.