The Babylon Bee Presents: COVID Christmas Carols
Health · Dec 13, 2021 ·

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This season, it's important to focus on the true meaning of Christmas: compliance

Christmas caroling, once a holiday tradition of family and friends spreading joy and cheer to neighbors and communities, is now illegal, and rightfully so. We are - and will forever be - in the midst of a dangerous pandemic, and nothing spreads lethal viruses more virulently than through friends, family, singing, and joy.

Dismay not! You can still find a sliver of Christmas cheer while isolated in your sanitized home, double-masked and quadruple-vaccinated, by listening to some of these COVID-19 Christmas Carols:

"I'll Be Vaxxed for Christmas" - A merry, joyful reminder that only the vaxxed are allowed to enjoy Christmas.

"It Came Upon A Mandate Clear" - Sing this beautiful carol and remember your first mandate. Precious memories...

"Baby, There's COVID Outside" - That's a billion times worse than it being cold outside! 

"Silent Media" - The Wuhan Virology Lab released a virus upon the world... and the media fell reverently silent.

"Do You Fear What I Fear" - If it's not COVID, you're killing Grandma. 

"What Variant is This?" - Yeah, we lost track too. 

"Have Yourself A Lonely Little Christmas" - OR ELSE. 

"God Rest Ye Boosted Gentlemen" - The only gentlemen who have a right to rest are the ones who are boosted.

"mRNA In a Manager" - Remember the birth of the savior: mRNA. 

"Fauci Baby" - As sung by Brian Stelter. 

"Carol of The Bell's Palsy" - Completely unrelated to the vaccine, Pfizer assures us. 

"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Wuhan" - Unsurprisingly, this carol is illegal in Wuhan.

"Santa Claus Is Staying at Home" - "He sees you defying lockdowns, he knows when you're not vaxxed, he is not coming anyway, so stay home and wear a mask!"

"All I Want For Christmas Is Ivermectin" - A conservative favorite.

"Jab to the World" - Who needs "joy" when you got that jab? 

"Fauci the Vaxman" - Why hasn't he melted away yet? 


"Have an Omi-Cron-y Christmas" - The hit single of 2021 is raging through the world after its South Africa debut!

"Good King Brandon" - Let's go Brandon! 

"Grandma Got COVID By A Cuomo" - An unsettlingly peppy song. 

"Variant Both Meek And Mild" - As pretty much all the variants were...

"Christmas (Baby Please Stay Home)" - We highly recommend the version recorded by The National Karens Choir.

"Mary Did You Know (About the Vaccine Mandate)" - Sometimes a Christian holiday mansplainer is needed to spread the joy of mandates.

"Masked Christmas" - This Christmas pop song will have you singing along in your own muffled, sad way.

"Sanitize The Halls" - "Fa-la-la-la-la-la wash your hands!"

"O Come, O Come, Dr. Fauci" - This old classic choral number sings reverence to our Lord and Savior and director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.

Jingle Bells, Biden Smells: Fauci laid an egg!

Now sing some carols, and have yourself a safe, socially distanced, vaxxed, masked, remote zoom call little Christmas! 

NOT SATIRE: If Big Tech censorship worries you, The Patriot Post is your relief. The left will censor this, but they can never stop the message. For 25 years we have equipped Patriots to save America's future. Take advantage of our free resources and rest easy knowing we have your back.

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