SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Sources close to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi reported witnessing a rare moment of thoughtful introspection as she set down her silver bowl of imported ice cream and asked her butler, "Am I out of touch?"
The butler just stood there silently and expressionless as he had been told to do at all times, lest he lose his job.
"Do my inordinate wealth and power impede my ability to truly understand the needs of Americans less fortunate than I?" Asked the 34-year representative, residing in her $15 Million mansion in the wealthiest neighborhood of America's wealthiest major city, encompassed by one of the nation's wealthiest congressional districts.
The butler, skillfully balancing a dish of Moroccan gelato on a tray, replied, "No, madame."
"Thank you for your honesty, Belgrave," said Pelosi.
"I'm Bertrand, madame," replied the butler, gesturing with his head toward the coat rack. "Belgrave is holding your coat."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
