GÖBEKLITEPE — The invention of the wheel may lead to massive job loss, according to a caveman who sounded the alarm to warn the rest of caveman society.
Local caveman Gorg issued an urgent plea that the wheel wasn't the innovative time-saver it was touted to be. In fact, it may very well lead to complete and total economic collapse.
"Ugh!" Gorg warned, perfectly articulating that the wheel would cost many cavemen their jobs. "Oog!"
Ironically, his warnings may have crippled the job market prematurely. Prominent hunters and gatherers said they were now taking a wait-and-see approach to the wheel to see if the invention shakes out before they invest hard-earned rocks into it.
"Wheel! Ooo gug," said gatherer and local celebrity Moog. "Grug?"
Protests against the wheel were already spreading across the valley, though they might be spreading faster if they'd make use of the wheel.
The wheel's inventor, Krag, dismissed Gorg's warning as classic alarmism. "Gorg is Neanderthal. Wheel will create thousands of new jobs, which is big deal because there are only 100 people alive right now. We will have new jobs you've never even heard of — all existing to support wheel."
Krag added, "Wheel doesn't spin on its own. Who will push carts full of rocks if not cavemen?"
At publishing time, Krag had filed for rock bankruptcy. "Me just don't think world is ready for wheel," he said.
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