Californians Set Up President Xi Dummy So Newsom Will Keep The Cities Clean All The Time
U.S. · Nov 16, 2023 ·

SACRAMENTO, CA — In a clever ruse to trick Governor Gavin Newsom into keeping cities and streets clean all the time, Californians set up a dummy of Chinese President Xi outside Gavin Newsom's office.

Sources confirmed the trick has already proven successful.

"Oh! President Xi, sir! I thought you left yesterday!" said a flustered Governor Newsom as he stepped out of his office building for lunch to see Xi staring at him silently from a sidewalk covered in tents and human feces. "Let me just clean this up for you really quick. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were still here. Please don't be upset. I'll just make a couple of calls and have this street cleaned up in no time. I'm so sorry."

Local eyewitnesses reported that a full-scale cleanup effort across the state is underway under orders of the Governor himself. "This worked way better than we thought it would," said the anonymous mastermind behind the stuffed Xi dummy. "It really helps that our governor is a moron."

At publishing time, the dummy was destroyed after Eric Swalwell attempted to take it back to his apartment for some reason.

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