California Proposes Another Minimum Wage Increase So People Can Afford Products Made More Expensive By Previous Minimum Wage Increase
Politics · Nov 2, 2023 ·

SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom has called on the California state legislature to pass yet another minimum wage increase so that citizens can afford the products that have been made more expensive due to the previous minimum wage increase, sources confirmed Thursday.

"This new wage increase will help California households keep up with the increase in the cost of goods and services increased by the last wage increase," Newsom told reporters at a "Fight for $50" press conference. "There will be no negative effects from this wage increase. And if there are, we will just increase the minimum wage yet another time."

"It's a foolproof plan."

Some economists question the validity of this strategy, pointing out that it's only likely to lead to the rapid replacement of human workers with kiosks and robots. But these economists are probably far-right Nazi sympathizers, according to experts, and their old tweets are currently being looked at.

At publishing time, Newsom had hurriedly replaced his "Fight for $50" slogan with "Fight for $100" as the price of products had skyrocketed once again.

Babylon Bee subscriber Blender of Daves contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

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