LOS ANGELES, CA — With the opening of a new opulent high-rise for the city's transient population, a California dad took a moment to warn his son that if he doesn't study hard, he'll end up homeless with a free luxury room and vodka shots.

Los Angeles rolled out its new taxpayer-funded apartment building to house homeless people in $600,000 units, leading parents to remind their children that only working hard, being responsible, and getting good grades can save them from living an easy life of extravagance in a posh high-rise apartment with free amenities.

"Now you see what will happen if you don't work hard, son," said George Robinson. "Here in California, you see those ragged bums roaming on every street corner. If you don't put forth an effort in school, set high goals, and build yourself up into a successful member of society, you could end up living in a luxurious apartment with free alcohol shots for the rest of your life. Is that really what you want?"

Robinson's young son, Logan, nodded. "Yes, Dad," he said. "I now see how irresponsible it would be to be lazy and unproductive with my time and pursuits, leading me into a life of homelessness where I would live a carefree existence in a fancy room with everything I want paid for by taxpayers."

At publishing time, young Logan Robinson had obtained gainful employment at his first real job, working as a valet at the luxury homeless high-rise building parking tenants' shopping carts for them.

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