WASHINGTON, D.C. - After increased pressure from lobbyists representing the LGBTQ+ community, the January 6th Committee has announced they will be including a same-sex kiss in their next hearing.
"We are very excited to feature the first-ever gay kiss in a Congressional hearing," said Chairman Bennie Thompson. "For too long, the LGBTQQIP2SAA+++ community has been underrepresented in our esteemed political stunts and televised show trials. After speaking to representatives from the community, we realized we needed to do better. Be sure to tune in tomorrow for a historic extended scene featuring two gay people making out! Historic!"
The committee reportedly asked for volunteers for the kissing scene. Chairman Thompson was originally going to ask Liz Cheney to kiss Elaine Luria, but Adam Kinzinger and Adam Schiff quickly raised their hands to volunteer before anyone else.
Consultants in Washington celebrated the "bold move" as a huge step for LGBTQ+ representation and a sure way to improve Democrat prospects in the November election.
The Committee promises further pride-themed elements in the hearings next week when they will invite a 12-year-old drag queen to perform in between sessions.
The televised hearings will be edited to remove the gay kiss for Chinese audiences.
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.