NEW YORK, NY — According to filings to the Federal Court of the southern district of New York, former President Bill Clinton says he will gladly testify on the Epstein case just as soon as he gets back from this really cool island.
Prosecutors had reached out to the former president after he had been spotted in nearly every single photo that had been released from the Epstein documents so far. Bill Clinton wrote in an email to attorneys that he is happy to share any information related to the case that he might have, but that he can't do it right away since he can't get away from this incredible island vacation he is on.
"My fellow Americans," began the President in his message to prosecutors. "I barely knew that Epstein fellow and I don't know anything about any illegal activity he was engaged in, but, whatever information I have, I can definitely share. Just wait for me to get back. I'm still on island time."
When prosecutors asked which island he was at, Bill Clinton replied by simply saying, "That's classified. Former presidential privilege."
At publishing time, Bill Clinton sent prosecutors another email with pictures of him on the island surrounded by beautiful women to prove that he really was on the island and couldn't make it into the courtroom just yet to testify.
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