WASHINGTON, D.C. — In brief remarks today regarding the ongoing debate about biological male athletes identifying as females and competing in women's sports, President Joe Biden made sure to specifically thank former soccer star and controversial activist Megan Rapinoe for supporting inclusivity.
"That Megan Rapinoe, such a handsome fella," Biden said in his comments to reporters. "Having that guy lend his support to the movement to eliminate women from women's sports means a lot. Not every man would care so much, so make sure Megan knows I appreciate him. A good dude. Sarnafarbits!"
Rapinoe, a staunch supporter of LGBTQ+ causes and critic of the alleged "patriarchy" in society, is in favor of allowing men who call themselves women to compete against biological females in sports. "Now that I've found success, made millions, and retired, I now feel safe encouraging biological men to compete with women," said Mr. Rapinoe to reporters. "It is a fundamental human right and all who disagree are fascist."
President Biden, who is expected to pursue changes to Title IX to penalize discrimination against trans athletes, was confused later in the day after being notified by aides that Megan Rapinoe is reportedly a woman. "That muscular fella with the chiseled features?" Biden reportedly said. "Wow! I wonder if she's available! What a swell-lookin' dame!"
At publishing time, Biden had requested a meeting with Rapinoe to sniff her hair to find out if she is actually a woman.
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