Politics
Biden Revealed To Be Robotic Human Suit Controlled By Tiny Jimmy Carter

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a shocking technology malfunction during a recent appearance, President Biden was revealed to be a robotic human suit driven by former president Jimmy Carter.

"Listen, folks, gas lines aren't that ba--" said President Biden as he began to twitch. "If you, if you're, I, I, I... uh... what was I saying?" 

There was then a series of beeping noises as Biden's face opened up, revealing former president Carter -- who could easily fit inside Biden's head due to his minuscule size -- sitting behind the controls.

Carter waved sheepishly at the shocked reporters. "Oops, wrong button. I'm sorry everyone! While I have you, Israel is an apartheid state and the next 4 years will probably be worse than the last 4 years...uh... forget you saw me, ok?"

Carter then pressed a button on his control panel and Biden's face closed and clicked shut. 

"S-s-sorry about that folks," said Biden. What did I miss?" 

Jen Psaki then swore the press pool to secrecy and gave them chocolate chip cookies. 

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