WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Biden proposed a $2 trillion spending bill Monday for the purpose of determining the cause of rising inflation. This is Biden's fourth proposed $2 trillion bill in as many months.
"The cause of inflation is a major concern for all Americans," Biden told reporters. "Rest assured, your government is committed to spending however much taxpayer money it takes to get to the bottom of this malarkey!"
According to Biden, the cause of the rapid increase in inflation has been baffling his economic experts for weeks. "All we know is that some mysterious event happened around January 20th which caused inflation to skyrocket out of control," Biden said. "We don't know what that event was exactly, but we do suspect President Trump was involved somehow. And maybe Russia."
Biden noted that his willingness to spend trillions to study the problem shows just how seriously he takes the threat of inflation. "I can't remember the last time anyone proposed a $2 trillion spending bill to Congress," he stated. "I mean that honestly: I can't remember. Say, what were we talking about again?"
In the meantime, officials from the US Treasury as well as the CDC have advised the public to start carrying double wallets to protect their money and help slow the spread of inflation.