MOSCOW — Biden's forces hit a major stumbling block Friday as they were unable to reach USSR's capital of Moscow before the harsh Siberian winter weather hit. According to sources, Biden's army is currently short of food, shelter, and other supplies, as the wet, snowy winter has shut down all overland travel. Additionally, Russian forces undermined Biden's advances by burning crops and homes, killing livestock, and emptying all the borsht silos before retreating to the East. Biden and his entourage now face the challenge of facing starvation and death to the east, while taking on courageous, freedom-loving Allied forces to the West. Military strategists agree that Biden may have fallen for the classic military blunder of starting a land war in Asia.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
