BERLIN — During his speech last night, Biden abolished the office of the president and named himself Supreme Führer. "It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to accept this new authority I have given myself," said the benevolent ruler. "I love democracy. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers I have given myself. No, I'm serious. Think about it. Not a joke!" Political dissidents were then rounded up and imprisoned in order to save democracy. The whereabouts of Senator Ted Cruz are currently unknown.
Senator Mitch McConnell isn't doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee's Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.
