BERLIN — During his speech last night, Biden abolished the office of the president and named himself Supreme Führer. "It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to accept this new authority I have given myself," said the benevolent ruler. "I love democracy. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers I have given myself. No, I'm serious. Think about it. Not a joke!" Political dissidents were then rounded up and imprisoned in order to save democracy. The whereabouts of Senator Ted Cruz are currently unknown.
Behold! Woke Jesus is teaching when the Pharisees bring to him a woman caught in adultery. Listen and learn from this cherished Bible story about how Woke Jesus turned to intersectionality.
