Obama: 'I Have No Memory Of Anyone Named Joe Biden'

MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA—While lounging about in his seaside mansion Tuesday, former President Barack Obama was asked whether he supported Joe Biden in the 2020 election.

"Sorry, who?" Obama responded, sipping a strawberry daiquiri brought to him by his servants. "Hmmm... Biden, Biden... not ringing any bells."

He was informed Joe Biden served as vice president under him for eight years, but he just stared blank-faced. "Nope, it's not coming to me. Oh, wait -- is he the guy that was in Home Alone and Goodfellas? Fine actor, very fine. Sure, I'd support him."

Reporters let him know that was actually Joe Pesci, confusing Obama further.

"Yeah, no idea who this Biden guy is."

Biden, for his part, said he has no idea who Barack Obama is, what the White House is, or what year it is.

Breaking: PayPal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.

There is 1 comment on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.