EARTH - As the villain Thanos continues his campaign of genocide across the galaxy, Earth's mightiest heroes, the Avengers, have decided to retaliate with one of their most feared weapons: a diplomatic boycott.
"This time, we have to hit Thanos right where it hurts, by launching a mild attack on his political reputation," said Captain America as he put the finishing touches on a strongly worded letter to Thanos. "If he continues to murder and enslave people by the trillions, we may decide to escalate to a full boycott."
"We applaud the Avengers for taking this brave stand," said an op-ed in The New York Times.
Experts believe this strong political stance will be the first step in establishing peaceful diplomatic relations with the rampaging Eternal - Deviant hybrid warlord while encouraging him to improve his record on human rights.
Upon receiving word of the diplomatic boycott from The Avengers, Thanos replied, "I don't even know who these people are!" and then casually wiped out another planet.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
