GOTHAM—Arkham Asylum has freed all its inmates to prevent the spread of coronavirus, sources within the Gotham Police Department confirmed earlier this week.
The prisoners were at risk for contracting COVID-19 and so were let go to take some of the strain off the Gotham prison system. After freeing them, interestingly, there was a rise in crime, a side effect the Gotham P.D. claimed they didn't see coming.
"Yeah, in hindsight, maybe this wasn't the greatest idea," said Commissioner Jim Gordon as a giant vine burst out of the ground and began wreaking havoc downtown and Bane punched walls just for fun. "Letting criminals out can sometimes cause a rise in crime, and we didn't exactly see that coming."
"HahahahahahahaHAHAHA!!!" cackled the Joker as he was let out. "Now it's time to kill the Batman!" Medical officials believe killing the Batman could actually help keep further coronavirus outbreaks from occurring and so will turn a blind eye to the Joker's evil plan this time.
Within two days of being let out, they were all caught again by Batman but then broke out again, before being caught again and then breaking out again.
"Yeah, we're not great at this whole 'running a prison' thing," said the warden.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.