Are You A Groomer? 9 Things To Look For

Oh no! Everyone's calling everyone else "groomer" and now we're all confused! Are you a groomer? Is your neighbor a groomer? Let the experts at The Babylon Bee help you sort it out. Here are all the warning signs you may be a groomer:


1. Do you talk about sex with 5-year-olds behind their parents' back?

2. Do you begin sentences with, "Don't tell your parents, but..."

3. Do you encourage kids to cut off their sex organs? 

4. Are you a Disney Executive? 

5. Did you quit your teaching job after they passed the Parental Rights Act in Florida? 

6. Does taking other people's kids to a drag show and calling it a "field trip" seem ok to you?

7. Do you drive around in a windowless van with "FREE GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE" scrawled on the side?

8. Have you ever helped a child acquire sex hormones without their parent's knowledge?

9. Does David French think you're a "blessing of liberty?" 


Tally up your number of "Yes" answers and consult this chart:

1-2: Oh no! You're a groomer! 

3-4: Wow. Definitely a groomer.

5-6: Yep, still groomer.

7-8: There's a Law & Order SVU episode with your name on it. 

9: Ok, we're calling the police. 


The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don't like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno"!

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