Apparently, the U.S. economy is in a recession right now, but who knows? We're told by experts that recessions are bad, so it's important to know whether you're in one. Fortunately, our experts put together this handy flowchart to help you figure it out!
Looks like we're safe, folks! You can rest easy.
Mission accomplished: Satan has just confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth was crucified and will never be coming back.