AUSTIN, TX — Following an announcement that Infowars would soon be converted into a satirical news outlet, American media personality Alex Jones, known for his fringe conspiracy theories related to the Sandy Hook school shooting and homosexual frogs, expressed concern that people would start to think the stories reported by Infowars are fake.
According to Jones, Infowars had been at the forefront of every major story since its founding in 1999. Its writers, he said, were not afraid to report on news that other media companies won't touch, like government-controlled weather weapons, juice boxes that turn kids gay, and Hillary Clinton eating babies. However, if the site is turned into a parody of itself, Jones feared readers won't know what to believe.
"THOSE LITERAL VAMPIRE POTBELLY GOBLINS DON'T CARE ABOUT JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY," he said during a live broadcast of The Alex Jones Show. "THEY WANT TO TURN THE NEWS GAY."
Despite concerns from Jones himself and fans of the website, comedian Tim Heidecker, who was expected to take over InfoWars as creative director, was not expected to change much of anything. "The site is already a spot-on parody program," he said. "I was really excited to tell some good jokes, but I really can't top this stuff. It'd be like painting over the Mona Lisa."
At publishing time, Heidecker announced that he would be retaining all current Infowars employees after becoming radicalized by the site's content. "I had no idea they were turning the frogs gay," he said. "The people have a right to know about this."
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