BRUSSELS — NATO leaders gathered at their headquarters on Monday to officially announce that they had finally completed internal deliberations and were now fully prepared to commit troops, weapons, and logistical support to assist the United States in its war in Vietnam.
"We didn't want to make a hasty decision," said NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte. "It took a while to get all thirty-plus member states on the same page, but we're finally here. Article 5 is a serious commitment, and we weren't going to rush into a major conflict without carefully considering all sides."
NATO members expressed hesitancy with the action and admitted that they didn't feel like the United States' 70 years of military support warranted their involvement in the conflict. After the final vote was cast, NATO members confirmed they had authorized the deployment of several naval task forces to the South China Sea, though officials admitted they were experiencing some minor navigational discrepancies.
"We are currently looking for a port in Saigon, but the intelligence is a bit dated," the spokesperson added. "Apparently, the hotel we were planning to house our command staff in is now a museum, and there is a surprising number of tourists in the area."
At publishing time, NATO was seen rushing to convene an emergency summit to determine if it should also send aid to the Union Army in the American Civil War.
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
