WASHINGTON, D.C. — After an ethics review discovered that Congresswoman Ilhan Omar had committed a slight $30 million accounting error, she assured the public that her finances were handled honestly by the professionals at the Quality Accouting Center.
Suspicions arose regarding Omar's finances after her net worth mysteriously exploded by tens of millions of dollars over the course of a few years in office. However, Omar explained that it was all a simple misunderstanding, and that the expert staff at the Quality Accouting Center was keeping all her financial dealings above board.
"Allow me to put all doubts to rest regarding anything shady with my finances," said Omar. "Everything has been handled with the utmost honesty and propriety by the trustworthy people of the Quality Accouting Center. There is no more credible firm in all of Minneapolis. I am told the $30 million discrepancy was a simple 'rounding error,' and everything is completely on the level."
Though critics claimed that an error of $30 million was cause for concern, representatives for the Quality Accouting Center issued a forceful defense. "To the untrained eye, it might look like $30 million suddenly appearing and disappearing is a big deal. But we do this kind of thing all the time," explained head accountant Abdirahman Hassan. "What people do not understand is that for us, numbers are really more like guidelines than rules. We like to think outside the box, specifically the boxes on IRS filings that increase taxable income."
At publishing time, Omar had directed any further queries about her finances to the physical office of the 'Quality Accouting Center', which, according to Google Maps, was somewhere in an alley behind a Culver's in Saint Paul, Minnesota.
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