KINGMAN, AZ — According to witness accounts, a local woman carried her unborn child to a full 9 months, enduring considerable hardship in the process, only to name him "Walter."
Elizabeth Sullivan reportedly endured several months of severe morning sickness and medical complications ahead of a prolonged 73-hour period of back labor, only to stun family and friends by naming him "Walter."
"This was the hardest pregnancy of my life, but it's all worth it to name him this," she said in what doctors at first assumed was a postpartum episode.
Staff at Kingman Regional Medical Center reportedly tried to intervene, but were unable to dissuade the new mother from naming her baby Walter. "We had three different doctors go in and consult with her, but she insisted on naming him Walter," said Stephanie Albright, a nurse at Kingman Regional Medical Center. "I don't know why she'd go through that ordeal just to name her baby that. Weird, but OK. You do you, lady."
Sources revealed that medical personnel tried recommending names like William and Mike, but Sullivan wouldn't budge.
"I can't talk about my patients," said Dr. Alan Wimble, "but I'm afraid that kid's going to have his work cut out for him."
According to sources, friends and family were equally confused by the baby's name. "Who picks a name like 'Walter'? No one in our family is named Walter. I just don't get it," Sullivan's mother (and grandma to Walter) said.
"Maybe I should sue for custody and rename him something cool like Steve," Sullivan's grandpa added. "My name's Steve."
At publishing time, family members had already nicknamed the baby "Walt" to make his name more palatable.
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