NEW YORK, NY — Former President Barack Obama and current New York City Mayor Zorhan Mamdani delighted preschool students this week by taking turns reading passages from the Communist Manifesto.
"The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles," Obama recited to the kids. "The bourgeoisie cannot exist without constantly revolutionising the instruments of production, and thereby the relations of production, and with them the whole relations of society. Right, kids?"
The preschoolers looked on in admiration and slight confusion as the two politicians continued their reading, pausing only to make sure the kids were listening and understanding the importance of Marx's words.
"Listen up, kiddos, this is super important," Mamdani said to the bewildered children as he launched into a particularly meaty section on the proletariat's struggle against the bourgeoisie and class antagonisms.
Mamadani explained to the kids that they should be constantly working to rise up against their adult overlords and establish a communal system of toy ownership.
"The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains! They have a world to win," Mamdani recited from memory as the youngsters waited eagerly for snack time. "Workers of the world, unite!"
At publishing time, Obama and Mamdani were seen attempting to organize a strike in the sandbox over the unequal distribution of juice boxes.
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