Alex Jones And 10 Other Exciting Trump Cabinet Picks
Sponsored · Nov 11, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Gage Skidmore, Wikimedia Commons

Brought to you by: Preserve Gold

Donald Trump has been re-elected, and it's time for Trump to assemble a new team of brilliant minds to serve in his cabinet. But just who will he choose to restore America to its former glory?

The Babylon Bee obtained the following list of people Trump is preparing to select to serve in key roles in his administration:


  1. Alex Jones — Press Secretary: We will finally learn which people in Washington are really lizards wearing fake human skin.

  2. The cast of The View — Ambassadors to Antarctica: It's an important job that requires every host from the panel.

  3. Elon Musk — Secretary of Diablo IV: Trump was reportedly impressed by his world ranking.

  4. Jimmy Kimmel — Court Jester: And he will have to wear those funny bells and dance as Trump pelts him with fruit.

  5. Kyle Rittenhouse — The Entire Department of Homeland Security: In a move that will save the nation billions, the entire agency will be replaced by one guy roaming the country with an AR-15.

  6. Mike Lindell — Secretary of Election Integrity & Slumber Comfort: Having secure elections will help Americans finally have the best night's sleep in the whole wide world.

  7. Joe Rogan — Secretary of Machine Elves and UFOs: He may also head up the Department of Shrooms.

  8. Any random kid who likes trains — Secretary of Transportation: No matter who it is, they will still be better than Pete Buttigieg.

  9. Ronald McDonald — Secretary of Nutrition: Every citizen will be allotted one Big Mac meal per day.

  10. Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. — Secretary of... something: He asked for a specific position, but no one could understand him.

  11. Joe Biden — Ice Cream Czar: A bold move from Trump to reach across the political aisle.

Such a powerhouse administration in the making. Is there any doubt that America will return to greatness? Add your own cabinet picks in the comments below.


NOT SATIRE: We live in uncertain times, in the United States, we are already experiencing record-high inflation, and not to mention the national debt has now surpassed $35 TRILLION. While paper dollars are suffering, one must also beware of the emergence of new digital currency, market warnings, and de-dollarization. The ability to protect our savings and hold onto wealth we can pass down gets harder every day. ONLY ONE ASSET has stood the test of time, Gold.

That's why Preserve Gold is sharing its free Precious Metals Guide. With 25-plus pages of detailed information, you can learn how Americans are using this little-known secret as a strategy to help hedge and diversify their retirement accounts. See how Preserve Gold can help protect your savings and retirement.

Claim your free information guide below and see if you qualify for the special bonus offer.

Get My Free Guide + Bonus Offer


BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW:

Click here to find out how you can watch the movie when it releases on October 11

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now