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Aides Force Ocasio-Cortez To Watch Entire Run Of 'Schoolhouse Rock!'

WASHINGTON, D.C.—As Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez continued to prepare to take office as an actual congresswoman that people in the United States apparently voted for of their own volition, her aides forced her to sit down and watch the entire run of Schoolhouse Rock!, a popular education program that teaches youngsters rudimentary ideas on topics ranging from economics to politics.

After Ocasio-Cortez entered her office Tuesday, aides gently guided her to a special room they'd prepared with every season of Schoolhouse Rock! prepped and ready to go.

The woman furrowed her brow and nodded slowly as the cartoon characters talked about basic concepts like the three chambers of government, the process of a bill becoming law, and how money works. "I thought Bill was the president a while ago?" she said confusedly, causing an assistant to pause the show and slowly explain what a congressional bill is.

"See how the singing piece of paper is trying to become a law?" the aide said amicably. "That's kind of how it works, in a broad sense."

"Ohhh!" she said as realization dawned on her. "But how do they teach the papers to sing? Wait—don't tell me—socialism?" The aide then sighed and rewound the tape to the beginning a third time.

At publishing time, Ocasio-Cortez had asked to take a break during the episode on basic economics.

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