WASHINGTON, D.C.—Melania Trump is causing controversy yet again, this time for decorating the White House with the skulls of her decapitated enemies.
While past first ladies have decorated the White House with traditional Christmas wreaths, trees, holly, and lights, Trump opted to mount the heads of her slain foes throughout the executive residence "as a warning."
"Did she go too far?" one pundit on CNN pondered. "I gotta say, these heads don't exactly say 'peace' and 'love' like a good, old-fashioned wreath would, you know?"
Speaking to reporters, the First Lady commented, "The skulls bring out the festive joy of the holiday season in our decor. We're reminded to treasure what we have when we see the skulls of our conquered foes every time we walk through these sacred halls."
"It's all to point us to the reason for the season," she added.
When asked what the "reason for the season" is, she stated, "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women."
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.