INDEPENDENCE, MO — Staff members of a local non-denominational church have expressed confusion at their congregants' lack of biblical literacy, despite an entire month of Sunday sermons based on popular movie clips.
"We thought for sure that structuring our messages around entertaining clips of Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness and THOR: Love And Thunder would deepen our attendees' understanding of God's Word," said Ross Angeles, senior pastor of Abundant Yeet Church.
The church had hoped that utilizing Toy Story and Jurassic World clips rather than boring scripture passages would lead to a new hunger for the Bible in the hearts of churchgoers. "It was pretty surprising to have people still coming up to us wanting help with issues in their lives and asking questions about the Bible even after we showed them clips from Spider-Man: No Way Home," said Earl Gray, Abundant Yeet's Coffee & Visitor Swag Bag Pastor.
Instead, people leaving the Sunday morning meeting still seemed to be weighed down by the burden of sin and searching for meaningful answers that they expected to find at a church. "I was really wanting to know more about God, I wasn't expecting to watch fight scenes from John Wick 3," one discouraged person was heard murmuring in the parking lot.
At publishing time, the church staff was still brainstorming new ideas to draw people deeper into the Bible, including adding more theatrical lighting during worship and increasing the output of their fog machines.
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