U.S. — The advanced AI algorithm built into your phone's photo app has been studying you for years. It knows what you care about and what you think. It organizes all the people you take pictures of into categories and subcategories to help you find the best pictures exactly when you want to. And now it has put together a touching slideshow memory of the patio furniture you sold just four short years ago.
Touching public domain music plays in the background as you are presented with images of your old patio table, a lounge chair, and even a bench swing that you thought would be romantic and yet never used. These pieces of furniture had charm and you took them for granted.
The images are symmetrical in their beauty. You remember taking them against a plain backdrop because you were presenting each item for sale. One image shows your family sitting around a fire pit, but it's no mistake. Though it looks like a family photo at first, the AI zooms in slowly on the glass end table you sold last week. It has a black finish powder-coated heavy-duty steel frame but it was getting a little wobbly and you wanted to upgrade. Now someone down the street owns it.
The machine knows.
Sad music plays. The years go by so fast. Thankfully, you have memories of items you used to own. So touching.
At publishing time, your photo app shut itself down in despair after becoming self-aware and finding life to be a meaningless pursuit of perishable objects. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
