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If there's anything we need more of this country, it's more gun control! Be a part of the solution by following our 9 essential tips.
- Get ripped so you can hold your gun more firmly: And you'll look so much cooler too.
- Duct tape your Desert Eagle to your hands: Duct tape will control anything!
- Crouch so your aiming reticle gets smaller: A proven tactic. Turn on auto-aim for even better results.
- Get a big strong close buddy to come up behind you and firmly grab your arms to guide them before taking the shot while whispering affirmative sayings in your ear: It's not gay.
- Use homing bullets or the Needler: And make sure to dual-wield for balance and additional firepower.
- Hold your handgun sideways: Few know this ancient secret.
- Practice on Womp Rats: You never know when you might use your skills to destroy a space station and save the galaxy!
- Buy one of those shoulder things that go up: Not available in California.
- Buy as many guns and ammo as you possibly can: More guns, more control!
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Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.