With the ground under America literally shaking today, many began wondering - might God be a tad bit angry at us? We at the Bee assembled the best theological minds to help us discern the truth!
Check out these signs God might be just slightly angry with your country:
- The sun is about to be blotted out from the sky: Never a good start.
- Your symbol for liberty just got struck by lightning: It's almost like some unseen power is trying to tell you something.
- You have been given over to lust, greed, and endless Fast & Furious sequels: The end draws nigh!
- Your bridges crumble and fall into the sea: Also, they will somehow take longer to rebuild than the Roman Colosseum.
- 70 million unborn babies have been murdered over the last 50 years: Things like that might make God slightly angry.
- Planes begin falling out of the sky: Ok, He might be a bit mad.
- Madonna is still touring: Does the Lord's fury have no end?
- The president speaks in strange, evil tongues: Nexnelsrent!
- Pete Davidson: Behold, the son of perdition!
We are starting to get the sense that God may be just a touch angry with our nation. Let us know any signs that we missed!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
