Sponsored by: Explodey World
Modern technology is great, especially when it comes to raising children. If there's something you want to go do, you can just plop the kid in front of a TV or tablet, and you're totally free. But that's not the only perk.
Here are nine more great benefits of screen time for young kids:
Fat kids are cute: What's not to love about a nice, morbidly obese child?
You were raised on TV, and look how great you turned out: Everyone from your generation is super healthy and well-adjusted, right?
Eliminates awkward interactions with humans: Cutting out human interaction is a huge relief.
Provides eye doctors with valuable job security: Dr. Lee needs a new Corvette.
Great opportunity to read the Bible App all day: Don't take away their access to Scripture.
Risk of sunburn is almost zero: Skin health takes priority over anything else.
First-person shooter games will make them an elite trained assassin by the age of 10: Is that Jason Bourne?
Meeting all kinds of interesting people online: And some of them might not even have criminal records.
Trains them for hours of daily screen time as adults: They can be just like you someday.
Who doesn't want all those things for their kids? So what are you waiting for? Go shove a screen in front of your child's face while you still can. Have you seen other benefits of kids being raised by screens? Post them in the comments.
NOT SATIRE: A kids' book made by guys who worked on VeggieTales, Teen Titans GO!, Animaniacs, AND The Babylon Bee?? What is this, Christmas?? Why, yes! Yes, it is!
This Book Might Explode is the perfect present to give your kids or grandkids this Christmas season. Because this isn't some ordinary kids' book... It's jam-packed with everything! Chapter books, picture books, comics, activities! All made by family-friendly professionals you can trust.
This Book Might Explode is a massive, full-color book that's the perfect replacement for screen time. Not only will your kids love our stories and characters, but each volume asks them to finish their own stories and design their own characters (and we might even publish them)!
When you give your kids this book, you turn them from consumers into creators. So this Christmas, get them the gift that's so stuffed full of fun... THIS BOOK MIGHT EXPLODE!
A quantum physicist interviews for the job of a lifetime at a modern university — but does he have what it takes to survive a flurry of DEI questions?
