These days, it can be hard to tell if the hospital you're at is also a staging ground for Islamist terrorists to commit mass murder! We at the Babylon Bee have assembled a list of ten subtle clues to help you discern if the hospital you're at is actually a Hamas base:
- The doctors break out in cheers when someone dies: Not a good start.
- The ambulance has a .50-cal machine gun mounted on top: It does clear traffic, but in a very Hamas-y manner.
- The hospital offers to waive your bill if you strap on this cool vest: To be fair, we're told they do keep their word.
- The gift shop sells "I'm sorry you've been taken hostage" balloons: Uh-oh.
- The sound of small arms fire keeps coming from the Cancer Ward: Very unorthodox, those Hamas cancer treatments.
- You got lost on the way to the cafeteria and ended up in an underground tunnel filled with rocket launchers: Not good!
- The pediatric unit is labeled the "Human Shield Ward": Strong terrorist vibes.
- The intake nurse checks your temperature, pulse, and circumcision status: Yikes.
- The surgical assistant is a goat: And oh no, he's wearing Hamas' little green headband!
- None of the doctors are Jewish: Pretty much a dead giveaway.
Spotting Hamas bases inside hospitals can be tough, but keep your eyes peeled for these hints!
Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.